


Fascinating

by xxpanda92xx



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, First Kiss, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxpanda92xx/pseuds/xxpanda92xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five things  the crew helped Mr. Spock realize about their Captain, and the one he realized on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fascinating

**1\. James Tiberius Kirk is Surprisingly Sensitive**

Spock and Uhura sat in one of the rec rooms, talking. Though they had ended their romantic relationship, they had remained good friends. He was grateful, for though the crew had come to respect him, they did not truly understand him, or how to act with him. He and Uhura had parted ways amicably, and her companionship helped him through the loneliness. Despite his alternate self’s description of a fantastic friendship between him and the Captain, Spock felt alone. This bond had yet to form, and Spock felt he would never understand the younger man.

As if seeking to prove this point, the Captain strolled into the rec room. Though he was most likely here to converse with Dr. McCoy, he stopped by their table and placed a hand on Uhura’s shoulder. “Hey there, gorgeous,” he said in an overly casual tone. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Enjoying myself until you came in,” she retorted. 

Spock could not stop an eyebrow from leaping up at this. Her comment did not hold the bite he would have expected, but it was still no way to speak to their commanding officer. “Lieutenant-”

The Captain laughed. “It’s ok, Mr. Spock.” With no further explanation, he squeezed Uhura’s shoulder gently and walked over to talk with Dr. McCoy.

Uhura shook her head and smiled fondly at the Captain. “I do not understand,” Spock told her. “Please explain.”

She turned her smile to him. “Growing up, I wasn’t all that attractive. I was always smart, but I didn’t get my looks until I was much older. None of the boys ever paid attention to me, and I was always insecure because of that. Part of the reason I got such good grades was because I had a lot of time to study since all of my friends were out on dates and I wasn’t. It felt really good when I finally started getting attention, and I learned to flaunt it. But…I’ve never really gotten past all that insecurity. I know it’s illogical,” she cut him off as he opened his mouth to protest, “but it’s still there.

“Kirk’s flirting has always been obnoxious as hell, but it also made me feel kinda good, you know? He’s been so persistent about it that it’s hard to believe it’s not genuine. Hell, if he wasn’t so annoying, I might have even dated him. When he was choosing his crew, he took me out for a drink and asked if I wanted the position, even though it still technically belonged to the other guy I replaced. He also wanted to make sure I didn’t hate his guts for the fight he started between you guys, not to mention all the crap he’d given me at the Academy. We started talking and he picked up on my insecurity, which got us talking even longer…in the end, he made me a deal. If I promised not to report him or kick his ass, he would keep flirting with me, only giving me compliments he actually means, and he wouldn’t expect anything from it but sassy rejection.”

“So this flirting is harmless?”

She nodded. “He’s just complimenting me, in his own way. He figured out I need it, and that I wouldn’t be able to accept it if he just said it straight out, so he’s doing it in a way I can accept it and still have power over the situation.”

“I had no idea the Captain was so sensitive to people’s needs,” Spock commented, looking to where his superior was laughing with a group of people, all of whom had joined him since he had begun his conversation with Uhura. 

“You guys got off to a bad start,” she said gently. “He probably didn’t come across as that sensitive when he was attacking you about your mom. But when you get past all the bravado and cockiness, he’s not such a bad guy.”

“Fascinating.”

**2\. James Tiberius Kirk is Very Smart**

Spock joined Chekov, Sulu, and Uhura for breakfast before their shift. They smiled as he sat down, and he nodded in recognition, which they had learned was his version of a smile. He had barely started eating when the Captain sat next to him. “Morning!” he said cheerily.

“Keptin, did you have a change to read the paper I sent you?”

The Captain nodded. “I already sent it back with my comments. You’re doing fantastic work, Mr. Chekov. Keep it up!”

“To what paper are you referring?” Spock asked, curious.

“I hawe been writing a report regarding my theory of alternate uniwerses and what happens when zey meet. I was curious when you talked to the Ambassador and ewerything was fine, but when that old man Lazarus was coming through, the world could have ended,” the young boy explained, enthusiastic and energetic as always.

“He has some interesting insights and observations,” the Captain commented. “You should read his report, Mr. Spock.”

“Please do!” Chekov exclaimed. “I would appreciate it if you could read it and comment on it. You’re our best science officer and I want to make sure it’s perfect before I send it to any journals for publication.”

“Here, I’ll send it to you,” the Captain offered, grabbing the PADD next to his tray and doing just that.

After his shift that day, Spock read Chekov’s article. The copy the Captain had sent contained his notes and comments as well. As he started reading, he wondered why Chekov had sent the article to the Captain first, as Spock was the lead science officer. The longer he read, the more he understood. Though the man hid it behind a brash, flirtatious, cheery façade, his comments revealed that James T. Kirk was a very intelligent individual. He had clearly encountered no trouble in understanding the complicated report, leaving valuable insight for Chekov, as well as making points and raising questions that helped focus and organize the young man’s work to be more suited for scholarly publication. Spock had very little to add that the Captain had not already addressed.

Spock went through their adjoining bathroom and knocked on the Captain’s door. “Might I have a minute of your time?” he enquired when the door opened.

The Captain stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. “Of course. What’s on you mind?”

“I have a question for you,” Spock replied as he stepped inside. “You put forth a great amount of effort in maintaining the causal appearance of an average, everyday human being. However, your commentary on Mr. Chekov’s report shows that you are clearly of above average intelligence. I suspected this was the case after your third attempt at the Kobayashi Maru, but your efforts to conceal this were effective and I assumed that hacking and programming were merely talents at which you excelled, but that you were otherwise average. Now, I know this is not true. Why do you work so hard to appear less than you are?”

“That was a compliment, right?” the Captain asked with a grin. 

Spock suppressed an eye roll, though he did raise an eyebrow. Was that all the man had gleaned from his speech?

The Captain laughed. “Sometimes it helps to be underestimated. When people think I’m just average and they’re better than me, they let their guard down and that gives me an advantage.”

After considering this, Spock nodded. “That is logical.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the only time you’ve ever called me logical.”

“I would recommend you commit it to memory, for it is likely to be the last,” he responded dryly. 

The Captain’s surprised laughter followed him back into his own quarters, where he resumed reading the article. “Fascinating,” he mused aloud, but he was not referring to Chekov’s theories.

**3\. James Tiberius Kirk Has His Own Brand of Logic**

Spock made his way to the botany labs, where Sulu was. The Captain had ordered him to go relax somewhere now that they were safe; the young helmsman had had a difficult, stressful time saving them from their latest near-calamity, and the Captain had noticed his shaky hands and kindly ordered him to relax with his plants in the lab. “That was some excellent flying today, Mr. Sulu,” Spock told the man. “The Captain and I have both given you commendations.”

Sulu smiled. “Thank you, sir. That’s quite the compliment coming from you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I see no reasons as to why you think the compliment means more coming from me instead of another. However, that is not why I came down here.”

“You just don’t give many compliments. What can I do for you?”

“I merely have a question for you. Why did the Captain elect you as his main helmsman? Please be aware I am not intending to cast aspersions on your talents. Today alone, you proved yourself worthy of the position, not to mention the numerous other times your skills have saved us. However, you were not the first choice, and I am curious why the Captain chose the ship’s leading botanist as his helmsman.”

“He said he wanted someone he knew he could rely on in a life or death situation. I may have been less qualified than the other guy, but Jim- I mean, the Captain- knew I could handle it, and he couldn’t be sure about the other guy.”

Spock considered this. He had assumed that Sulu had been chosen out of favoritism on the Captain’s part- after all, they had fought together and saved each other’s lives. Now, however, it appeared the choice was more logical than he had presumed. From another perspective, Sulu was the much more logical choice, but Spock knew that if he had been given captaincy, he would have given the position to the man with the most qualifications, as regulations suggested. He found himself questioning his own logic, which had never before occurred.

 _Fascinating_ , he thought before resuming his conversation with Sulu.

**4\. James Tiberius Kirk Can Be Poetic**

Spock walked down to engineering, looking for the Captain. They had begun enjoying nightly chess games, which Spock had initiated upon discovering his Captain’s intelligence, and the Captain was over an hour late. No one else had seen him (Spock had allowed himself a second of relief when he was not in the Sickbay), and the only place left to check was engineering.

The Captain was sitting next to Scotty, laughing and slightly flushed. An unlabeled bottle sat between them, which Spock deduced was Scotty’s not-secret and not-legal supply of alcohol. Spock suppressed both his compulsion to cite regulations and the illogical pang of jealousy. “Captain, forgive the intrusion,” he said a touch stiffly. “You had not come for our chess game and were not in your quarters, so I endeavored to find you and make sure you were all right.”

The Captain smiled and patted the floor next to him. “Come sit with us, Spock. And don’t call me Captain when we’re off duty. My name’s Jim. I keep telling you that.”

Spock sat down, leaning back against the walls of the Enterprise. Keenser came over and handed a PADD to Scotty, who looked it over and handed it back. “Well, gentlemen, ya can relax and enjoy yerselves. Everything is ship-shape and runnin’ like a beauty.”

The Captain’s smile grew. “That’s what I like to hear, Mr. Scott. I need you to keep her running for me. She’s all I have.”

:”Ah, that’s not true, Jimmy boy,” said Scotty in an appalling display of colloquialism that had Spock biting his tongue. “”You’ve got friends and family back home, don’t ya?”

The Captain sighed and leaned back against the wall. “Yeah, but this… this is my home. I never fit back on Earth. It was a world too small for me. I always know I belonged out here, among the stars. It’s where I was born, you know, and it’s where I wanna live till I die. I’m more at peace here in the stars than anywhere else. Every time she takes a hit, I always think my adventure has ended, that my time in the stars is over, that I’m not only losing my family, but my home too. I need you to keep her going, Scotty, to keep her flying smooth and strong, no matter what happens, because at the end of the day, she’s all I have. My crew might leave me, my friends might die trying to protect me, those of you who’ve become my new family might move onto the better things they’re suited for- Lord knows they could do anything they wanted and be the best at it- but the Enterprise is my home, and I can’t lose that.”

Scotty held the bottle out to the Captain, who took a drink and smiled appreciatively. “You’ll never hafta worry, sir. I’ll do anything ta keep her sailing for ya. She’s my silver lady, and I won’t abandon her while there’s breath in my lungs.”

Spock looked between the two humans who had waxed poetic and felt he should contribute. “Mr. Scott, Jim… this ship is my home too. Vulcan is gone, and Earth is not somewhere I truly belong. Nor is New Vulcan, for though my people are there, it is but a shadowy reminder of what we lost. The Enterprise is as much my home as it is yours, and though I may not be an engineer, I will do everything in power to keep her alive and well.”

The smile the Captain rewarded his speech with was beautiful. He and Scotty went back to discussing the beauty of the stars and of the Enterprise, but the blonde head came to rest on Spock’s shoulder. All Spock could do was drink in their words the way they were drinking alcohol, and all he could think as the Captain grew more poetic with every drink was, _Fascinating._

**5\. James Tiberius Kirk is Hurting and Lonely**

Spock charged into the Sickbay. “What is wrong with the Captain?” he demanded.

McCoy looked up from his desk. “I told you, Spock, he needs to rest.”

“But there was nothing wrong with him, and he did not consume anything to which he is allergic. Why are you keeping him here?”

McCoy looked at him closely. “Why, Mr. Spock, I do believe you’re showing emotion. Do I need to place you under examination?”

“No, Doctor, you need to tell me what is wrong with-” Spock paused. He had intended to say “with my Captain”, but he knew that was not sufficient. “With my friend,” he amended.

McCoy sat there looking at him for a long time. “Fine,” he grumbled, pulling out a bottle of Saurian brandy and pouring himself some. “I’ll tell you, but only because I can tell you care. Sit.” He took a long drink as Spock silently obeyed. “Jim’s had it rough his whole life, and every now and then he comes down, cries on my shoulder, talks about everything he’s struggling with, and eventually passes out on a biobed from exhaustion. I make up some excuse and give him a twenty-four hour sick leave so he can recover.”

“I am surprised, to use your human phrase, to learn the Captain bears burdens heavy enough to make him collapse like this. Tell me what they are.”

McCoy snorted. “Why do you care? Aren’t emotional issues a bit outside your area?”

“As First Officer, it is my duty to assist the Captain in all things.”

Shaking his head, McCoy responded, “Not buying it. Tell me the truth and maybe I’ll fill you in.”

Spock thought, but the only way he could be see ascertaining the truth from Dr. McCoy was honesty. “May I have your guarantee of client-patient confidentiality first? It is not something I want known throughout the ship.” When the doctor agreed, he continued, “I find myself caring much more about the… about Jim than I should. He is the only one who can truly evoke emotion in me, and I enjoy his company far above anyone else’s, including Lieutenant Uhura. As such, though I will never approach him because I know my advances would be unwelcome, I care about him and the issues he faces. If I can help him bear those burdens, I will.” He was certain his face was bright green by the time he finished.

McCoy chuckled. “Looks like you have it even worse than Jim.” Before Spock could ask what he meant, the man continued. “Ok, I’ll tell you. Jim acts like he’s untouchable, but he’s not. He’s fragile and broken. He and his mom never had the best relationship. I think he reminded her too much of his dad. Then, his stepdad was downright cruel and abusive. His older brother left as soon as he could, and though they kept in frequent contact, he died in an alien attack before they had a chance to reunite. Not to mention that before all of that, Jim and his family lived through Tarsus IV. Their family was on the list of people to survive ‘cuz it wouldn’t look good if the widow and children of hero George Kirk died of starvation, but Jim gave away most of his food and nearly died because of it. 

“Now he’s a captain before his time of the most important ship in the Fleet, learning the ropes as he goes and filing the reports and contacting the families personally of every crew member he loses. I know you hide behind a heart of stone and your Vulcan control, but can you tell me you’d be able to do all that and remain unaffected? And he’s only human. So when it’s too much, I let him cry, sedate him if needed, and give him a day off so he can just breathe and be the kid he still is.”

Spock was silent for a long time. “How can I help?” he finally asked.

“Be his friend and support him. And don’t rub it in his face when a mission goes south. Don’t stop him from beaming down because it’s illogical. He does that to try and prevent more casualties. Just… be there.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I need to meditate on what you have said. I will try to help him where I can.” With that, Spock left. This time, fascinating was not the word he could apply to his new insight about his friend. His heart broke for the man, and all he could think was, _Poor Jim._

**+1. James Tiberius Kirk Needs Reminders of How Awesome He Is**

Over the course of their friendship, Spock had come to notice a pattern. Whenever someone paid the Captain a compliment, he lit up briefly before waving it off with self-deprecating humor. It happened with everyone- the Captain was quick to brush it off and give credit to someone else, but he always looked happy, if not grateful, for a moment. Upon discussing it with Dr. McCoy, Spock knew he had made the correct deduction- Jim Kirk was a man who thought little of himself, despite the façade he presented, and needed to be reminded of how wonderful he was. Spock took it upon himself to do just that. Logically, he told himself that a happier Captain would lead to a better crew, but if he was honest with himself, he knew he just wanted to make Jim smile.

“Good morning, Captain. You look excellent today,” Spock said as the Captain joined them on the Bridge.

The Captain stared at him, but Spock watched the smile reach his eyes, even if it was not on his face. “Are you ok, Mr. Spock?”

The eyebrow rose on its own, almost an automatic reaction to anything his friend said. “Perfectly fine. Your concern is appreciated.”

The Captain nodded and went to his chair, looking happy, albeit slightly stunned. Spock wondered why he did not try to refute the compliment, but said nothing.

Later that day, Spock sat with the Captain in the mess hall. Chekov came over excitedly. “Keptin! My article was accepted! Thanks to the help you and Mr. Spock gave me, of course! Thank you!”

His commanding officer laughed, but Spock caught the secret smile first. “Nonsense, you’re the one who wrote it. We just gave you some tips.”

“Indeed,” said Spock with a nod. After Chekov had left, however, Spock turned to Jim and said, “Actually, you underestimate yourself. Your criticism was very constructive and helped Mr. Chekov greatly.”

The Captain blushed and grinned before he could catch himself. “Well, I could hardly take away his credit and pride, could I? Look at how happy he is!”

“That is most kind of you. You are a considerate man, Captain, and our crew will do well and go far under your leadership.”

His friend’s face was now bright pink with the force of his blush. “Thank you,” he stammered before turning his full attention to the meal in front of him. 

Spock continued like this for a week, complimenting Jim at every opportunity. He had received many strange looks, but the Captain was much happier, so Spock did not concern himself about it. He cared more for his friend than what people thought of him. He noticed Jim seemed to stick by his side and seek out his companionship even more, which was an unexpected but pleasing turn of events.

After a chess game one night, Spock leaned back and surveyed the board. He had lost to his friend, despite thinking he had cornered his opponent. “When we first started playing, I thought it would be devastatingly easy to beat you. However, you have proven yourself a most formidable opponent.”

The Captain sighed and put his head in his hands. “Ok, what’s going on? What do you want?”

“I do not understand. Please explain your question.”

“No one is ever this nice to me, least of all you. Not unless they want something. You know we’re friends, right? You don’t need to butter me up just to ask for something, even if it’s big. What is it? Transfer papers? A recommendation? What do you want?”

“Your happiness,” Spock answered softly. “I have noticed you seek the approval of others because you don’t see yourself as worthy, so I want you to know that you have mine.”

Jim gave his self-deprecating chuckle. “I know it’s pathetic how much I need approval. You don’t have to humor me.”

“Not pathetic,” Spock insisted. He thought quickly but decided to reveal his darkest secret. “I would never love someone pathetic.”

Jim looked at him with wide eyes. “You love me?”

“I believe so, yes. Do not worry, I will never act on it or expect reciprocation. You should know, however-”

Spock found himself silenced by a pair of lips against his. Through it, he felt all of Jim’s happiness and love. Truly, this last revelation about his fascinating Captain was the best.


End file.
